Albanian jokes thread

[Prokomenos]

A man walking down the street came upon an Albanian trying with much difficulty to measure an up-right pole with a yard stick.

Seeing the Albanian's stupidity, he took the pole and placed it on the ground. Then he took the yard stick and easily measured it. Turning to the Albanian he said, "There you go. It is 10 feet."

The Albanian was now quite mad and yelled back, "You idiot I was not trying to see how long it was...I need to know how high it is!


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[Prokomenos]

Why did the Albanian steal Bush's watch? Because he needed it to find out what it was so he can go to work!

[Prokomenos]

An albanian business man was working in his office he decides to call his family and see how they are doing. He calls and his kid picks up he asks him how you doing and where is your mom the kid says she is the other room and she locked it the father says who is in there the kid says its mom and another guy the father goes crazy and tells the kid to go get his gun and shoot them both the kid goes and gets the gun shoots them both the father now tells him to take them and throw them in the pool the kid goes dad we dont have a pool the father says take them in the pool u son of a bitch dont make me come there the kid says dad we do not have a pool the father says is this 201-556-9865 the kid says no the father says oops sorry wrong number.

[Prokomenos]

A farmer took the camper off his truck before going to town. As he was going down the road three Albanians were standing beside the road hitchhiking. The farmer picked them up, one Albanians got in the front and the other two Albanians got in the back. As they were going over the hill the brakes went out on the truck. The farmer couldn't stop the truck and they went into the pond at the bottom.

The farmer and the Albanians that were up front come up out of the water a minute later. They kept waiting for the two in the back to come up.

The farmer said, "I wonder where they are?"

The Albanians said, "Maybe they drowned."

About five minutes later they come up gasping for breath. The farmer asked, "What the Hell took you so long?"

The two Albanians said, "We had a devil of a time getting that fucking tailgate open!"

[Prokomenos]

Albanian girl comes home and says, "Daddy I'm pregnant!"

Her father replies, "Are you sure it's yours?"

[Hellenika]

Good
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Here:

Top ten reasons for being Albanian:
1. You can always swim to Italy.
2. You can choose between a president who stole your whole income, one who killed all your relatives, or go fight the Serbs in Kosovo.
3. You can be proud of being from "the land of the eagle."
4. You can always swim to Italy.
5. You can take weapons from any army garrison and defend your honor.
6. You can get killed in a vendetta and be remembered as the
hero of the family.
7. You get to be called the poorest country in Europe.
8. You can live in the ecologically cleanest country in Europe.
9. You can always swim to Italy
10.You are proud of being "from the land of the eagle."

[Hellenika]

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Q: How can you stop an Albanian tank?
A: You shoot the soldier that is pushing it.

Q: Why is there a rubber-band shortage in Albania?
A: They're saving it for their satellite launch.

Q: Why is there a crisis in the Albanian economy?
A: Their donkey died.

Q: Why do Albanian submarines surface every five minutes?
A: To let the oarsmen breathe.

[Prokomenos]

Originally Posted by Hellenika
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Q: How can you stop an Albanian tank?
A: You shoot the soldier that is pushing it.

Q: Why is there a rubber-band shortage in Albania?
A: They're saving it for their satellite launch.

Q: Why is there a crisis in the Albanian economy?
A: Their donkey died.

Q: Why do Albanian submarines surface every five minutes?
A: To let the oarsmen breathe.

Hahaha good ones...
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[Prokomenos]

This is an email I recieved from an Albanian today. LMAO!

The following message was sent to you via the Greek Realm Contact Us form by shqiptar ( mailto:
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).

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You greeks fags need to get a life and stop bullshitting about albanian before we kick every living shit out of you.

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[Napalm]

Notice how albanians get offended by text jokes But it didn't seem to bother any albanians when they were mass murdering and ethnically cleansing Serbs from their lands. It doesn't phase albanians that they are involved in the biggest drug trafficking, organ trafficking and human trafficking industries in Europe.