100 ways to be a cool Greek American

[Prokomenos]

100 Ways to be a Cool Greek-American 1. Smoke as if it was your last day on earth.

2. Own an alphanumeric pager with a built-in answering machine.

3. Own a cellular phone, talk on it ALL the time.

4. Dress as though you're headed for a club when you're actually going to class.

5. Speak Greek all the time.

6. Have only Greek friends.

7. Learn to say the Greek alphabet really fast to impress the natives.

8. Wear those tight black pants and tons of make-up (If you are a girl) or, be sure to have a pony tail (If you are a guy).

9. Travel in groups of 10 or more to parties.

10. Go to Greek Orthodox summer camps (Ionian Village, Ascension, St. Sophia, BDC, CYC.. etc.).

11. Go to all Greek college parties.

12. Refuse to dance to anything but Euro club or Greek folk music.

13. Dance in circles at all parties and clubs.

14. If you are a guy, use a lot of gel and mouse in your hair, or if you are a girl, be sure to run your fingers though your hair each time you spot a hot guy.

15. Dress as though you're headed for a club when you're actually going to church.

16. Wear only designer labels and make sure they are extremely visible.

17. If your a guy, walk 10 feet in front of your date at all times.

18. Own a bouzouki if you can, even if you know nothing about them and bring it to parties.

19. Wear a leather jacket at all times, even in the summer.

20. Tell American acquaintances that money is never an object even if all you have is $10.

21. Guys and girls wear those big black boots (Aldo specials).

22. Make sure your parents are illiterate with a heavy accent, but crafty.

23. Believe in DKNY, Versace, Moshino, and Armani.

24. Make sure your parents and relatives own a pizza place or a diner or some other cash business and DO NOT pay enough taxes.

25. Guys, get a hair cut once a week (if you are not of the pony tail variety).

26. Make sure you install every possible option in your car (the ashtray and the Vandi tape is a must).

27. Own a sports car (even if it's a piece of skata).

28. Use church as a social ground to meet potential dates.

29. Go to every GOYA dance possible.

30. If you are a girl make sure your hair is covered with highlights of brown or blonde.

31. Buy a komboloi and play with it like you know how to.

32. Girls and guys, wear as much silver or gold as possible.

33. Tell everyone you were born in Greece.

34. Know all the names of Greek foods.

35. Tell everyone stories of your amazing summer in Greece (even if you've never been there).

36. Have lots of Greek pride.

37. Celebrate your name day like your birthday, confuse the natives.

38. Girls hold other Greek girl's hands in public as a symbol of friendship.

39. Put Greek stickers all over your belongings (car, room...).

40. If someone asks you your race proudly say "Greek".

41. Girls go out with Greek guys much older than you.

42. Have huge parties.

43. There is no drinking age in Greece, pretend as though you're there.

44. Always give kisses on both sides of cheeks (mind the excessive make-up).

45. Follow your horoscope.

46. Believe in all Greek superstitions not observed anymore even in the smallest Greek village.

47. Whatever you do... don't drive like a Greek from Greece (here the police takes notice).

48. Make friends wherever you go.

49. Play soccer, watch soccer, pick a Greek soccer team.

50. Listen to Greek music.

51. Teach non-Greeks swears in Greek, then make fun of their accent.

52. Go to church as much as possible.

53. Be familiar with all new Greek slang.
54. Do every thing "Greek Style" - as if you were perfect.

55. Guys carry a wallet everywhere.

56. Show off Greek money as if 100 drachmas was 100 dollars.

57. Drink Greek coffee in the winter and frappe in the summer.

58. Read Greek magazines.

59. Go to all Greek events.

60. Know about your religion.

61. Know all the names of your family in Greece.

62. Consider yourself as a Greek God or Goddess.

63. Girls, go out with more than one guy at a time.

64. Be the life of the party.

65. Ouzo is your friend (so drink it).

66. Party until the morning, then go out for breakfast.

67. Go to Greek cafes.

68. Keep a lot of pictures of friends at all times.

69. Have at least one favorite number and color at all times.

70. Learn Greek pig-latin and speak it with your friends.

71. Girls, carry a pocketbook everywhere.

72. Memorize the words of your favorite Greek song.

73. Have at least 3 nick-names.

74. Plan a trip to at least one Greek island.

75. Hang a huge Greek flag in your room.

76. Know at least one Greek singer (e.g. Vandi, Dallarras, etc.).

77. Start a Greek club at your school.

78. Travel to places where there's a lot of Greeks.

79. When ever in presence of other unknown Greeks, pretend you can't speak Greek to hear everything they say about you in Greek.

80. Always talk about that special someone in Greece (even if they don't exist).

81. Never be ashamed of your given birth name (even if named after a tree, e.g. Lemonia!).

82. Always keep your last name (don't shorten it, even if named Papadimitroharalampopoulos).

83. Don't be ashamed to be full of yourself.

84. Refer to all elders and friends' parents as aunts and uncles (theo and thea).

85. Know how to Greek dance, take classes, teach classes.

86. Have a lot of perfume or cologne on at all times.

87. Waste all your money on stuff, you can never have enough of anything.

88. Know at least 20 girls each named Maria, Eleni, Irene or Sophia.

89. Know at least 20 guys each named George, Nick, Gianni or Kosta.

90. Go out for coffee with your friends.

91. Smoke the heaviest cigarettes available.

92. Wear the same outfit 2 to 4 times in a row.

93. Take a nap in the afternoon.

94. Don't always be in a rush, arrive late to parties and learn to chill (run on Greek time).

95. You only live once, so live the best as possible.

96. Don't wear shorts or sandals in the summer (those are reserved for the natives).

97. Always show off your naturally tanned skin.

98. Don't be offended if someone calls you an immigrant (take it as a compliment).

99. Fall in love with Greece, Greek culture, and everything Greek - sto xorio mou gaidaros petai = im ny village donkeys fly.

100. Anything else.

[Megale]

The list practically hit the mark!! An omision is that Greek guys don't bring bouzoukia but rather their turntables and DJ sets and play Euro-dance. If not Euro-dance its house influenced Greek music.
Another is Greek-Americans speaking with a slight Greek accent.

Strange thing is that the description sounds like Greek-flavored yuppies.